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Caricatures of Council, in Words

by Lisa Ellison, Editor

I intended to write an examination of the way each councilor engages in debate. But this is what I came up with instead.

From the Editor’s Desk

Smith: “This is easy. Here’s why. You’re stupid.”

Blackburn: “I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do, but my heart is really telling me it is.”

Croskery: “Now, I’m new here, but you can tell I’m thoughtful by the soft, measured, soothing tone in which I speak. And I agree with most of what you say, except for one part.”

Glover: “I am old and I have been doing this since all y’all were in diapers. I may not know what you’re talking about, but I want you to tell me what the Weed-and-Seed program doesn’t teach you about the best way to do it. And another thing, I’m not gonna take it anymore. Because.”

Mercer: “Allow me to walk you through the history of this issue. Then we’ll explore where it is right now and look at a few of the possible outcomes. I’ll ask city staff a series of short-answer questions and will then provide a synopsis of the issue, laying out clearly the benefits and demerits of any action. Occasionally I’ll tell you my opinion, but normally it will just go as far as the intellectual exercise.”

Smiley: “I’ve received the theoretical, practical, emotional and personal data from everyone here and from citizens who have called or emailed. I’ve taken that data through a process modeled on decision-making research they’ve been doing at the prestigious Theory to Practice Institute. I’ve reached these possible solutions and this one is the best for the following reasons.”

Thomas: “Go Greenvull!!! E-C-U!! E-C-U!! And if anyone says otherwise, they can just step over the city line, ‘cause that’s how we do it here in Bootstrap, Nor Care-a-li!

You put your right foot in. You put your right foot out. Etc..

You put your right foot in. You put your right foot out.

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Responses (18)

  1. The Weed and Seed program was very good in the city. We need to go back to find out what happen.

    • tom shane says:

      Too many people with their hands in the jar. I
      to pay for my baby sitters, everyone else should too.

  2. John Collins says:

    I’m just sorry you didn’t do this when Dennis was still on council.

  3. Rick Smiley says:

    I both concur with and dissent from your characterization. My concurrence comes in two parts and my dissent in three, but the second part of my concurrence is the inverse of the third part of my dissent (which is unavoidable since both points are premised on the same six data elements). I will begin with part two of my dis [EOM].

  4. ann eleanor says:

    Hokey, Pokey – maybe that is what it’s all about.

  5. Candy Pearce says:

    Excellent response Councilor!!

  6. Marion Blackburn says:

    Although I don’t know if I should laugh, in my heart I know it’s funny.

  7. Michael Gross says:

    I’ll take the blacbourn, mercer, smiley approach anytime.

  8. The things you pick up on when you frequently attend meetings. Funny!

  9. Rick Croskery says:

    I researched it carefully, thought about it extensively, discussed it thoroughly wwith my fellow council members, and decided a measured and soothing tone coupled with registration of my slight disagreement was the best approach.

  10. tom shane says:

    Does the Smith woman really call people stupid? Pot and kettle come to mind here.

  11. Dede Carney says:

    This is hilarious! You may have a future in stand-up comedy act, Lisa! Too, too funny – including (especially?!) all the comments too! Folks that don’t “get” the jokes, folks that do, just hilarious! LOL!!

  12. Carol Collins says:

    Lisa and all commenters so far: many thanks for making me LOL!

  13. Janet Moonschein says:

    I think your caricatures are about the cutest things I’ve ever read summing up the council members quite well. Good job.

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